The Labels We Live By (and Why They're Holding Us Back)
In healthcare labels are necessary. They help us diagnose, communicate and treat. In pharmacy, there are laws that dictate what must and must not be on a label (which is why you probably notice they all follow the same format!).
Labels in life? They can quickly and quietly become the cages we live in.
As a pharmacist (and a mom), I’ve seen how a diagnosis or label can shape how a patient is treated. Sometimes these labels yell louder than what the patient’s symptoms are saying. Neurologist Suzanne O’Sullivan actually wrote about this in her book, The Age of Diagnosis: How Our Obsession with Medical Labels Is Making Us Sicker. And I see that we do the same thing to ourselves.
“I’m not a good writer”
“I’m not a leader”
“I don’t know how to communicate”
”I don’t know how to dress fashionably”
“I’m the good girl, people pleaser, etc…”
Labels in Healthcare are Important, but often Incomplete
In pharmacy and medicine, labels serve a valuable purpose. How else would be able to differentiate between the different medications in a vial? Not having a label on a medication could quickly lead to patient harm.
Labels are not always accurate either. One misdiagnosis in a patient’s chart can follow them (and impact that direction of treatment) for decades.
The danger is when we let our labels limit us in medicine…and in life.
In the pharmacy world, every medication comes with a package insert and a label on the prescription bottle. This usually says “take with food”, “do not operate heavy machinery”, etc…..But, the thing with these labels are that they are a catch all - they are there to keep the consumer safe, but not everyone experiences every single side effect.
It’s often the case with people too. We accept a label in childhood and carry it through into our adult life even though it had no merit from the beginning.
“I’m not creative” - I no longer try
“I’m too sensitive” - I stay quiet
“I’m not athletic” - I don’t exercise
“I’m bad with money” - I avoid learning
These labels become self-fulfilling. Not because they are true, but because we let them linger in our life unchallenged.
Labels and Limits
Many of our most limiting labels weren’t chosen by us. They were assigned early in our life, sometimes even lovingly. I’ve had to unravel a lot of these childhood labels lately. It became inevitable to my growth. The girl who never caused trouble, who was quiet, who always did well in school, who never knew how to speak up or even recognize her needs - that girl is not the girl who can carry me into the future. Some of those labels need to be challenged and rewritten.
In healthcare, we know that a medication can be helpful in one phase of life and inappropriate in another. The dose that once supported healing can later cause harm or stop working.
Childhood labels work the same way.
Being “good” taught me responsibility. Being “quiet” showed me how to listen and be empathetic. But no one taught me how to:
express unmet needs
tolerate discomfort in others
take up space without apologizing
advocate for myself
really, really go for that thing I wanted without worrying about mistakes
What once kept me safe eventually kept me small.
Labels and the Nervous System
Children learn early and quickly what earns love, praise, and safety. The nervous system adapts accordingly. Staying quiet is regulated. Speaking up feels risky.
As adults, even when the environment has changed, the body still responds as if: visibility equals danger, conflict equals rejection and needs equal a burden.
We don’t need extra strength, we need awareness of these patterns we are replicating.
Rewriting the Prescription
In healthcare, when a patient outgrows a dose or treatment or experiences side effects, we reassess. We don’t get upset at the patient for needing a change, we work through the options and adjust their treatment plan.
This is what I’m learning to do now - and the first step is always awareness. Many of my aquired self-limiting beliefs have risen to the surface in the last year. They are beliefs that I have to break and overcome if I want to move forward to the next chapter of growth in my life. I have now learned that I don’t have to self-abandon for the sake of being “easy or good”. I don’t have to squash my needs and be quiet and stay invisible. I know that shining in my own life doesn’t take away from anyone else.