Weekly Updates 7.31.23

Can you believe it’s the last day of July? School starts in a few weeks and our family is really trying to soak up the last few weeks of summer with lots of ice cream, beach, and friend time.

Oh, and soccer season started this weekend. Yep, 8am weekend practices. It’s been fabulous. I have to mentally prepare myself for shuffling three kids around to different activities (see the next point).

I’ve been feeling really burnt out and blah lately. Work is getting in the way of my life LOL. Maybe it’s because everyone else is living it up in Europe or maybe it’s because I’m just kind of over trudging an uphill battle at work while managing the day to day of a household. One of the reasons I went back to work five years ago was because I needed an outlet. I was not thriving through motherhood and needed a little balance. But, the decision that was right five years ago may not be the right one for today. A lot has changed in five years, right!? Career-life balance is something I continue to struggle with and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is never balance. We need to stop using that word. There are some weeks the family gets more and some weeks when there are extra work meetings. How we make peace with this is centering ourselves in what matters (family, friends, meaningful work) and then making our decisions around that. You will always have to make sacrifices in some areas. I continue to put my family and friends first (that gives me the most joy!), which is why I think I feel this stress. I know what “could be” at work, but I consciously choose what is important to me. Letting go of those career expectations is where I need to land.

I’ve also stopped myself from saying “at Duke we used to….” because it’s not getting me anywhere, i think it actually annoys people and I am convinced that most departments really just want to keep the status quo. And by status quo, I mean the comfortable state in which they have worked for the last twenty years, not the industry status quo. Many people get the job they are in and then just stop growing. They don’t keep up with the current trends, they don’t benchmark, they just keep doing what they’ve always done and when people try to move the needle of change, they resist, fight, blacklist, etc… I’m honestly sick of fighting so here I go with adhering to the status quo and keeping the peace until I can figure out my next move. An old mentor said something to me when I started a job at a different hospital that seems applicable here - in essence, he said for me to keep pushing and doing the work because once people had been there long enough, they got complacent and stuck in their own status quo (wow, I’ve used that word a lot). I guess that can happen at any organization.

I was also thinking this week that many of the careers that I admire or strive for are with people who don’t have some of the responsibilities that I have. They don’t have a full-time doctor husband (who works crazy hours) or kids at the same stage of life. They may have a husband who builds their business with them and/or takes pictures of them all day long lol to put on their blog (or a bunch of assistants!). I look up to some successful writers/podcasters/speakers and they don’t have children. Or their children are in college and they have time to focus on their career again. Not that any of us should be comparing ourselves to others, but we should also be really realistic. We can’t do everything at all stages of life. It’s honestly helped me more self-aware and happy with myself and where I am at.

So, maybe my time really is to focus on my family and what brings me joy. Have you read The Alchemist? To me, this feels like that kind of story.

Quote that I’m holding on to this week: “Meet people where they are”

What I’m Reading:

I have read absolutely nothing substantial this week other than some legislation around 340B. Boring. But I have zoned out on some TV shows. The Silo is my current binge.

What I’m listening to:

I’ve been listening to some lessons on Masterclass. I’m all over the place too - I’m learning tennis with Serena and how to design my life with Elaine Welteroth. It’s glorious.

What I’m buying:

Since we are getting ready for school, I have been buying backpacks….

And uniforms from Land’s End

Lots of shoes. If you have any recommendations for tennis shoes for boys, let me know!

I’m actually kind of boring this month. I have bought barely anything for myself. Primarily, because for the last six months, I have sent most of the clothes back because I didn’t like the fit. So, I’m focusing on getting fit again, losing a few plans and in the meantime, I’m eyeing this dress, this little set, and these pants. that would be perfect for work and for being mom at school activities.

Another opioid-reversal OTC medication is approved (naloxone)!

An older article, but a different way to look at wellness at work

Time to toss your skincare products?

Do vitamins expire (I was quoted in this article!)

Kids and the last few days of summer